#PTSD

Understanding Trauma: Effects on Brain and Body

~ Ella Hicks ~ 1 Comment

When we begin to talk about trauma, it is important to understand that trauma isn’t what happens to you, but rather how your body and brain react to that experience. Not everyone responds the same way. Some people are more predisposed to developing post-traumatic stress

A traumatic event can cause your brain to get stuck in danger mode, even long after the threat is gone. It’s like your body is still on high alert, constantly sending out stress signals. This can lead to a dysregulated nervous system, making it hard to find peace and calm.

Trauma can leave a lasting imprint on our minds and bodies. When we experience a traumatic event, our brain switches into survival mode to protect us. This response is crucial in moments of real danger, but for many of us, our brains can get stuck in this high-alert state even after the danger has passed.

“Trauma can make it feel like you’re never safe, even if the world appears to be safe to everyone around you. This makes it incredibly difficult to explain to non-traumatized people, who can’t see the ‘reason’ why you feel anxious, scared, or powerless. Not all wounds are visible.” – Ella Hicks

What Happens to Your Brain?
During trauma, the amygdala (the part of the brain responsible for detecting threats) becomes overactive, while the prefrontal cortex (responsible for rational thinking and decision-making) can become underactive. This imbalance means that even when you’re safe, your brain might still perceive threats, causing constant stress and anxiety.

The Impact on Your Body
A dysregulated nervous system means your body is in a constant state of fight, flight, or freeze. This ongoing stress can lead to physical symptoms like headaches, muscle tension, digestive issues, and chronic fatigue. Emotionally, you might feel hypervigilant, irritable, or emotionally numb.

Healing and Regulation
Healing from trauma involves teaching your brain and body that it’s safe again. Here are a few steps to start:

1. Grounding Techniques

  • Deep Breathing: Practicing deep, slow breaths can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps to calm the body. Try inhaling for four counts, holding for four, and exhaling for four.
  • Mindfulness Meditation: Engage in mindfulness meditation to bring your focus to the present moment. Apps like Headspace or Calm can guide you through the process.
  • Grounding Exercises: Techniques like pressing your feet into the ground, holding a piece of ice, or focusing on your surroundings can help anchor you in the present moment.

2. Therapy and Support

  • EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): This therapeutic approach helps process and integrate traumatic memories, reducing their emotional charge.
  • Somatic Experiencing: This method focuses on bodily sensations to release stored trauma and regulate the nervous system.
  • Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT helps reframe negative thought patterns and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

3. Self-Compassion

  • Gentle Self-Talk: Replace self-criticism with supportive and understanding self-talk. Recognize your progress and effort, regardless of the pace.
  • Mindful Self-Compassion: Practices such as loving-kindness meditation can help you develop a kinder relationship with yourself.

4. Healthy Lifestyle

  • Regular Exercise: Physical activity, especially aerobic exercises like walking, running, or dancing, can help regulate stress hormones and boost mood.
  • Balanced Diet: Eating a nutritious diet supports overall well-being and can help stabilize mood swings.
  • Sufficient Sleep: Prioritize sleep hygiene to ensure you get adequate rest, which is crucial for healing and emotional regulation.
  • Joyful Activities: Engage in hobbies and activities that bring you joy, whether it’s painting, reading, gardening, or spending time in nature.

5. Community

  • Supportive Relationships: Cultivate relationships with people who understand and support you. Sharing your experiences can foster connection and validation.
  • Support Groups: Join support groups, either in-person or online, where you can share your journey with others who have similar experiences.
  • Rebel Thriver Community: In the Rebel Thriver Village, a private online community for women survivors of DV, abuse, and trauma, we provide a safe space for sharing and support. Connect with us and other members who are on a similar path to healing.

“Trauma isn’t just the bad stuff that happened. It’s also the good stuff that never happened.”
– Dr. Heidi Green

Remember, You Are Not Alone

When I first began my healing journey, I was overwhelmed and completely isolated. I struggled with constant anxiety and physical symptoms that seemed unexplainable. I had no point of reference for domestic violence; I didn’t think I knew anyone who had experienced it…little did I know then what I know now.

Eventually, I was diagnosed with CPTSD, Complex Post Traumatic Stress (disorder). There wasn’t much talk about trauma back then, so I started reading everything I could find in order to help myself and my children. I learned grounding techniques, embraced self-compassion, and slowly started to reclaim my sense of safety. I took classes and joined webinars, ultimately leading me to get my certification as a Clinical Trauma Professional and as a Mindfulness Coach.

In 2012, I created this blog in the hope of meeting other women who shared my experiences. I reached my trembling hand out into the darkness, and thousands of women from around the world reached back. Rebel Thriver quickly grew into a beautiful global community of people who understood each other’s lived experiences. This makes all the difference.

If you’re feeling stuck, remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Rebel Thriver is here to support and uplift women every step of the way. Together, we can find peace and reclaim our sense of safety and well-being.

Much Love,
Ella xx

  • If you are interested in working with Ella as a private client: Individual Sessions
  • If you are interested in joining one of Ella’s popular group coaching experiences for women: BLOOM or Wildflowers
  • If you are interested in joining our private online community, the Village, you can join us here: rebelthrivertribe.com

Surfacing

~ Ella Hicks ~ Leave a comment
September 11, 2001

This year I was hoping to write about my experience, but I can’t find it in me to be honest. The truth is what I saw and experienced on this day 20 years ago, may never find a voice from me. The weight of the sorrow holds me back. I don’t want to feel the pain.

I was in Manhattan on September 11, 2001. I was living in an abusive marriage to a mentally unstable, and very scary man. That day was terrifying, and he was even more terrifying. It’s hard to talk about it, because it was just too much. The tricky thing about trauma is that it screws with your memory, and the truth is that I’ve not had it in me to try to face them. I buried that day within me while it was still alive.

It’s been 20 years. My first baby was one years old in 2001, he’s now a 21 year old young man. What I can share today, is a window into how trauma presents itself, even after 20 years: I am numb. I can’t turn on the radio or tv because I cannot bare to hear a word about it. I have a heavy sob stuck in the center of my chest and I am terrified to let it out, but I desperately want to. AlI I want to do is forget, and leave it buried. But we can’t forget can we? Nor should we, people deserve to be honored. There is a film reel playing all the time in my mind. I cannot stop it, because I cannot access it. Perhaps one day I will be ready to. Perhaps I won’t.

There was not a cloud in the sky on that crisp September day. We had no idea what was coming when the bottom dropped out. It felt like the city crumbled around me. We were a city of zombies, everyone in shock. I have yet to process what happened, but once a year I am reminded that I need to. Maybe one day I will be able to speak more about it, just not this day. To those of you who were personally touched or lost loved ones, parents, friends, and colleagues I send you my love. It is my belief that the 2,997 that died that beautiful September day are dancing in another realm, untethered from the weight of their human bodies.

Today was a hard day for so many, but we survived.

Ella xx

Empty House

~ Ella Hicks ~ 1 Comment

“I began to shiver. There was a wind blowing through me; I felt like an empty room with all the windows shattered, terror blowing through me, no comfort left. That was how I felt consciously and distinctly.” – Frederic Prokosch

This is how domestic violence feels at times. It guts you and leaves you feeling utterly alone and isolated. A shell of your former self. There is no comfort to be found in it and when you do find a moment of peace you are always preoccupied with the fear of it ending. You are never able to fully relax. To experience the relief of being able to collapse into yourself. No fear. No worries. You are on guard and vigilant 24/7, walking on eggshells and always praying that it won’t happen again. But it does. It always happens again. This is the cycle of violence and what makes it so incendiary is that it always circles back on itself. It runs deeply infecting one generation to another. Unless the cycle is broken.
.
The road back is not an easy one. It is riddled with road mines and much strife. But we the survivors are strong and must never forget to celebrate that. Freedom becomes our favorite word and courage our middle name. Day after day you must take steps forward and find support that you can lean into. Find role models of women who have walked your path before you and who inspire you. The path to healing is where you will learn to rebuild yourself on a solid foundation and begin the process of discovering who you are again. No longer will you feel like an empty house with shattered windows. Instead, you will feel a fire rising up within you declaring that you are worthy of so much more. You are so very worth the effort it will take to rebuild. You deserve a peaceful happy life. Healing takes time so you must tend to your garden with much love and self care. 🦋Ella
.
Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233 (United States)
The hotline.org
.
✨ If you are interested in life coaching please reach out to me at Ellahickscoaching@gmail.com or you can get more info and book your sessions at ellahicks.com.