When we begin to talk about trauma, it is important to understand that trauma isn’t what happens to you, but rather how your body and brain react to that experience. Not everyone responds the same way. Some people are more predisposed to developing post-traumatic stress

A traumatic event can cause your brain to get stuck in danger mode, even long after the threat is gone. It’s like your body is still on high alert, constantly sending out stress signals. This can lead to a dysregulated nervous system, making it hard to find peace and calm.

Trauma can leave a lasting imprint on our minds and bodies. When we experience a traumatic event, our brain switches into survival mode to protect us. This response is crucial in moments of real danger, but for many of us, our brains can get stuck in this high-alert state even after the danger has passed.

“Trauma can make it feel like you’re never safe, even if the world appears to be safe to everyone around you. This makes it incredibly difficult to explain to non-traumatized people, who can’t see the ‘reason’ why you feel anxious, scared, or powerless. Not all wounds are visible.” – Ella Hicks

What Happens to Your Brain?
During trauma, the amygdala (the part of the brain responsible for detecting threats) becomes overactive, while the prefrontal cortex (responsible for rational thinking and decision-making) can become underactive. This imbalance means that even when you’re safe, your brain might still perceive threats, causing constant stress and anxiety.

The Impact on Your Body
A dysregulated nervous system means your body is in a constant state of fight, flight, or freeze. This ongoing stress can lead to physical symptoms like headaches, muscle tension, digestive issues, and chronic fatigue. Emotionally, you might feel hypervigilant, irritable, or emotionally numb.

Healing and Regulation
Healing from trauma involves teaching your brain and body that it’s safe again. Here are a few steps to start:

1. Grounding Techniques

• Deep Breathing: Practicing deep, slow breaths can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps to calm the body. Try inhaling for four counts, holding for four, and exhaling for four.
  
• Mindfulness Meditation: Engage in mindfulness meditation to bring your focus to the present moment. Apps like Headspace or Calm can guide you through the process.
  
• Grounding Exercises: Techniques like pressing your feet into the ground, holding a piece of ice, or focusing on your surroundings can help anchor you in the present moment.
  

2. Therapy and Support

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): This therapeutic approach helps process and integrate traumatic memories, reducing their emotional charge.
  
• Somatic Experiencing: This method focuses on bodily sensations to release stored trauma and regulate the nervous system.
  
• Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT helps reframe negative thought patterns and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
  

3. Self-Compassion

• Gentle Self-Talk: Replace self-criticism with supportive and understanding self-talk. Recognize your progress and effort, regardless of the pace.
  
• Mindful Self-Compassion: Practices such as loving-kindness meditation can help you develop a kinder relationship with yourself.
  

4. Healthy Lifestyle

• Regular Exercise: Physical activity, especially aerobic exercises like walking, running, or dancing, can help regulate stress hormones and boost mood.
  
• Balanced Diet: Eating a nutritious diet supports overall well-being and can help stabilize mood swings.
  
• Sufficient Sleep: Prioritize sleep hygiene to ensure you get adequate rest, which is crucial for healing and emotional regulation.
  
• Joyful Activities: Engage in hobbies and activities that bring you joy, whether it’s painting, reading, gardening, or spending time in nature.
  

5. Community

• Supportive Relationships: Cultivate relationships with people who understand and support you. Sharing your experiences can foster connection and validation.
  
• Support Groups: Join support groups, either in-person or online, where you can share your journey with others who have similar experiences.
  
• Rebel Thriver Community: In the Rebel Thriver Village, a private online community for women survivors of DV, abuse, and trauma, we provide a safe space for sharing and support. Connect with us and other members who are on a similar path to healing.
  
  

“Trauma isn’t just the bad stuff that happened. It’s also the good stuff that never happened.”
– Dr. Heidi Green

Remember, You Are Not Alone

When I first began my healing journey, I was overwhelmed and completely isolated. I struggled with constant anxiety and physical symptoms that seemed unexplainable. I had no point of reference for domestic violence; I didn’t think I knew anyone who had experienced it…little did I know then what I know now.

Eventually, I was diagnosed with CPTSD, Complex Post Traumatic Stress (disorder). There wasn’t much talk about trauma back then, so I started reading everything I could find in order to help myself and my children. I learned grounding techniques, embraced self-compassion, and slowly started to reclaim my sense of safety. I took classes and joined webinars, ultimately leading me to get my certification as a Clinical Trauma Professional and as a Mindfulness Coach.

In 2012, I created this blog in the hope of meeting other women who shared my experiences. I reached my trembling hand out into the darkness, and thousands of women from around the world reached back. Rebel Thriver quickly grew into a beautiful global community of people who understood each other’s lived experiences. This makes all the difference.

If you’re feeling stuck, remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Rebel Thriver is here to support and uplift women every step of the way. Together, we can find peace and reclaim our sense of safety and well-being.

Much Love,
Ella xx

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• If you are interested in working with Ella as a private client: Individual Sessions
  
• If you are interested in joining one of Ella’s popular group coaching experiences for women: BLOOM or Wildflowers
  
• If you are interested in joining our private online community, the Village, you can join us here: rebelthrivertribe.com