Will the Real Ella Hicks Please Stand Up?

EllaIcon

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Ella Hicks please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Ella Hicks please stand up?

Change can be weird on all accounts. When I first started social media I knew it would be a big risk for me. Putting myself out there in the public arena is not exactly safe for a woman/mother who is living in “hiding” from her abusive ex-husband. No more stalking please! Getting “out there” and sharing my story was the only way I figured that I could stay sane and make some sense out of what my life had become. So I took a leap and started a blog and called it Rebel Thriver because I was determined to not get to comfy in my survivors coat. I wanted to upgrade to a thriver and in order for me to do that I needed to be a bit rebellious and speak out in a public way, even though I knew there was a BIG risk factor involved.

So the name came easily, Rebel Thriver. Who is Ella Hicks though? Do you realize how many times in a single day a blogger, writer, or public figure will show their likeness publicly? What was I to do? I knew I couldn’t show mine so I decided to adopt Brigitte Bardot as my public face. Besides the fact that we both have a mop of blonde hair, I admire her for many reasons. She is a fearless activist for animal rights in France. Animals are so often the unspoken of victims of domestic violence. They are often tortured in an attempt to hurt the human victim even more. I am so grateful for the work she does. She was an incredible beauty when she was younger and has been slammed in the press for not “aging” well. The reason is that she has opted to grow old naturally is so her money is used to help animals, not her vanity. Instead of being praised for her selflessness she is so often ridiculed and it’s heartbreaking.

As Rebel Thriver poises to grow I knew that the day would come that I would have to find another “face” for myself. Ella Hicks needs her own identity other than a photograph, and so the search has been on for years. As luck would have it the other day I came across a painting that was spot on. Immediately I knew that this was the perfect representation for me and so I contacted the artist Elizabeth Mayville and explained to her in a nutshell my colorful and complicated conundrum of a story. Not only did Elizabeth agree right away to allow me to use this beautiful painting of hers as my public “face”, but she waived the fee she usually charges because she supports what I am trying to do with Rebel Thriver.

So today is the unveil of the “new me”. I simply love it more than words because it really captures my day to day vibe. I want to thank Elizabeth Mayville from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to use her amazing piece of art and for having such a generous heart. You can see more of Elizabeth Mayville’s work at http://www.elizabethmayville.com or shop https://www.etsy.com/shop/ElizabethMayville

I know it’s going to take some time for me to get used to not seeing Brigitte everyday, but it’s time for a change and I am going to grow with it! xo Ella

40 thoughts on “Will the Real Ella Hicks Please Stand Up?

  1. I love the painting and i love revbel Thriver and i love Ela hicks. That just about covers it. Oh no, I love the chances you took, I love the support you have given to so many and i can’t believe you know my name. Big hugs, gerry straatemeier #WUVIP ❤

  2. It’s perfect Sister!!⚓ Love it!! I think it is a brave and inspiring new change!! 😙💜 It inspires me to continue on my path of changes lately!! So refreshing!! And special thanks to the artist Elizabeth Mayville and her kind deeds! What a treaure! Love you!!

  3. I so LOVE and ADMIRE The REAL ELLA HICKS!
    Thank you for BEing REAL! 😀
    Your candid account of Aging Gracefully gives me HOPE & INSPIRATION…..To BE ME.
    Love that you are more concerned with Outreach to charities and such than simple vanity.
    Thank YOU For STANDING UP! 😀

  4. Love your new picture, it’s nothing short but brilliant and perfect. 😀

    As for the real Ella Hicks, she is always there, behind each inspiring word and quote, a presence that persists and exists even without photographs. You are amazing. Thank you.

  5. Dear Ella i look forward to your post and newsletters just as Bridget is your (unsung hero?) Marilyn (ie Natasha Booshwah) for other reasons became mine ❤ the new picture…..Recently on facebook a icon lost his battle with life Dave Nieves, his upbeat good mornings woke me up ( much like yours to the joy of the day…….please don't go anywhere we need you around for a looooong time ❤ yoou biggest( one of them) fan

  6. If I may offer a few tips I paid dearly for when I left:
    1) You CAN change your name without going thru the “system”. To stay legal, contact your creditors to let them know AND set up a code with them-no code, no info. Make sure they flag your account to do everything short of fireworks so ALL employees to be cued in.
    2) Fon’t expect the legal system to protect you (I had a corrupt judge who granted my ex visitation even though my ex threatened to kidnap & kill our newborn-he’d already set fire to the house with me in it while I was pregnant. My ex skated on those charges.
    3) Do not give a forwarding address for ANYTHING! This even includes magazine subscriptions.
    4) Try not to have anything on your name, including rental units & utilities . For just 99 cents hour abusers can have every bit of info out there in a nice & neat pkg. These pkgs go thru social media, too, along with listing family members & friends . You’ll probably no longer be able to use any certifications or licenses-they are too easy to trace. You’ll need to pick a profession your abuser has NEVER heard you had/have an interest to. Do not trust anyone. After a few years, you can try “trust but verify” but realize it’s s huge risk.
    5) Never keep your routes or schedules the same. Know a MINIMUM of 4 ways to leave or get to your home & make sure you mix it up
    6) In my case, things were slightly easier when he had wife #3, easier yet with wives #s 4, 5 & 6 (I was #2).
    7) To leave on a couple high notes: Stay close to Christ, knowing where you are going to end up takes away a lot of fear. Realize Chtist loves your children more than you do.
    Finally, my infant is now 6 ft 4 1/2 inches & still growing. He’s had karate & self defense. He’s s master with a stick. I never once, in his first 18 yrs ever said anything bad about his Dad. Kids are ALot more smart than we give them credit for.

    If you’d like more tips, I’d be glad to accept texts or phone calls. If you are going to block your # when calling (& you SHOULD), text first. I Still do not answer blocked calls.

    Besides my personal experience, I’m both a former Deputy ( undercover narcotics with DEA training)& a teacher. In the state of Ohio, teachers will lose their certifications if they suspect abuse & don’t report it; thus, trained in what to look for.

    God bless you & keep you safe & grant you His grace & peace!

    It IS worth leaving. My son has no idea what it’s like to live in an abusive home-I left when pregnant. He had already killed our daughter, hitting my abdomen when I was pregnant, which loosened the plug enough for her to catch an infection that killed her invitro
    I’ll get to meet & hug her one day in Heaven

    1. Michelle, Thank you for your detailed response. I have experienced much of what you have and your points are valid. There is so much misinformation and lack of information out there for women (and men) to read on this situation. And much of the written material is by people who have school degrees but no life experience in this area. I am not sure if you are familiar with my work within Rebel Thriver but I help people move past the trauma and re-boot their life. There is HOPE and a life to claim after abuse. xo Ella

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