Standing Still.


“Sometimes it takes years to really grasp what has happened to your life.”                                                                                                                    -Wilma Rudolph

It can be a hard pill to swallow when you realize that you are out of the forest, but not out of the woods. Life goes on and we live it out the best we can, exhausted often by the very act of being. Sometimes when you feel as though you have made progress you realize that you were actually just standing still; and the truth is that taking steps is easier than standing still.

It can be incredibly frustrating as I watch friends suffer through their growing pains; shit as I suffer through my own growing pains. I want a magic balm to help them through the pain, but I know that the only way to find redemption is to push right on through it. Life has taught me this well, and some lessons have taken longer to grasp than others. It’s kinda like trying to figure out Algebra (which incidentally I almost failed). It comes down to realizing that in life you have to work out the problems, you can’t just skip to the answers without doing the work.

When I find myself in these situations my usually patient self often checks out. Then comes the moment of self-reasoning. I have learned that patience really is a virtue and that time doesn’t heal all wounds, but it certainly helps dull the rough edges. Life doesn’t come with a manual, thank God because I probably wouldn’t read it anyway. We all have to follow our own path and figure out the best way to go about it for ourselves. It took me a lot of years to finally wake the hell up.

Then just like that you get that ‘Ah ha’ moment. You finally realize that the past is the past; and you can’t let it hold you hostage anymore. Life is for the living, and living is happening in the present moment. I can only lead by example and share what I have learned in an attempt to shine some light on the shadows. Bruce Springsteen’s mantra sounds off in my head, “No retreat baby, no surrender.”  You gotta just live through it. If t takes years then so be it, just don’t you dare give up. One day you will understand, just hang on and keep doing the work.

xo Ella

20 thoughts on “Standing Still.

  1. Fantastic article and so beautifully written. So much is written from the head and so little is written like this one, straight from the heart. Well done Wonderful Ella!


    1. Thank you Patrick. I really appreciate it. I don’t think I could write from my head if I tried…it would be to scripted. Sometimes I feel like my writing my not make sense to some people, but then I know that the people who are meant to read it will find it and understand me. xo Ella


      1. I agree with Val, Ella…you will never be alone because we are all walking each other home, hand in hand. I love this message. I had an A Ha! Moment this weekend that I think will help in taking another step forward. Thank you, Ella for all you do! ❤️


      2. Cindy, thank you love. Writing this blog is so much more personal for me than running the Facebook page. So when people read what I write and connect to it I just love it. It really helps me to feel connected on another level. I am glad to hear that you had an ‘ah ha’ moment this weekend…rock it! xo Ella


  2. Love it, and saved this quote in particular… . “Life doesn’t come with a manual, thank God because I probably wouldn’t read it anyway.” Sounds pretty classic to me.


  3. I have been through my share and a couple others share of the battles! It has taken me years (I will be 50 in couple of months) I was 45 when I finally able to confront my past and bring it to light, I have miles and miles to go I know, I have since graduated from college and I work with one of the best group of people and that is the Veterans, Service Members and Family Members and it has been very rewarding so far and the best part is I have been able to heal myself as I go. I have a mantra too, it came to me after my first husband killed himself when I was 27 with 2 kids and uneducated. I heard this song it was by Aerosmith and not one of their most famous songs, it is called Amazing, if you have not heard it you need to. It is about a broken soul who is thinking about killing the end of the song they say…Just remember you might be the light at the end of the tunnel! I am the light and so our you. It is the line i use at by peer to peer groups, you are the light, each of us is someone light.
    Thank you Rebel Thriver for your inspiration to me and to all of us!! I too am I thriver!


    1. Angie, thank you for sharing that with me. I too have been touched closely by death of a similar sort. It’s a tragic thing to have to sort through. I am so happy to hear that you are not shackled down with the labels of victim or survivor, but choose to thrive. I LOVE your mantra and I shall use it in a poster for RT perhaps. Yes, we are the light at the end of the tunnel for the people that we care for and who need help finding their way. In truth they help us more than they could know. The healing goes both ways. xo Ella


  4. That Aha moment is powerful. Just beginning to see and feel the other side of unimaginable grief. I truley believe even standing still.. When even standing seems impossible? Leads us to that “moment”. A kind of peace comes with it and I know, now, I am blessed. I very, rarely post but “Thank You” for putting this down…so glad I found it, nicely done. Melinda


    1. Oh Melinda, Thank you so much for commenting. It really means so much to me that others can connect to what I am going through. I hope to see you more and sending you love. xo Ella


  5. boldly beautifully spoken, at 58 I too am still learning to stand still

    It is hard when you think you have moved forward, to find your steps have not changed, you are where you have been all along. Darkness falls, sitting becomes my pastime, the drive to drive is non-existent. Still, I look within, to try again pushing my self, my soul to the surface for air, to breathe. I have been called Pollyanna more than a few times, no one sees the hurt, where I have been, just me. It is so far buried even I am surprised when yet another moment surfaces. Your postings speak deeply to me, I thank you, even at my age, still I try, still I seek, who is me.

    thank you and blessings to you my distant friend


    1. Thank you so much for reaching out and commenting. First I want to say that your age is only a state of mind. We are all on an endless journey and we are learning and growing constantly…if we are open to it. That is the key…to look for the openings within our days to share, learn, grow. Sometimes that means taking a risk and even getting hurt. Never stop digging deep to connect to your true self. You are beautiful. xo Ella


  6. Hey Ella – I’ve just found you. Firstly through Facebook and now here. And already I feel a deep admiration and connection with you… so I felt compelled to reach out and say hello, and thank you for what you’re doing. I know the courage it takes. I started my own healing through writing a blog, and my life has changed beyond recognition since then! I look forward to getting to know more about you and your work. In the meantime, congratulations – I salute you. With love and respect from a fellow thriver ❤ xxx


    1. Mel,
      Thank you so much! I am sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to you, but Summer hit and I just haven’t written in so long.
      I am here to remedy that now. I really appreciate your support! xo Ella


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