It’s the Getting Up that Counts.

It’s not really the falling down that is the problem…it’s whether or not you get up. You should know by now that life takes no hostages. We live in a dog eat dog world where everyone is preoccupied with climbing up the rungs of the ladder of success. Humans are more concerned with winning the race than they are about having a healthy and happy journey.

My dear friend send me a quote the other day that read, “Sometimes you fall down because there is something down there that you are supposed to find.” What a great perspective! I quote my dear Mother, “Life will always find a way to humble you.” I used to hate when she said that when I was growing up, but she was so right. The key here is that we can choose to learn from the fall or we can choose to roll as a victim in a pile of bad luck.

Life to me is all about the three L’s: Love, Learning, and Laughter. So many of us strive for the Love and the Laughter while trying to avoid the Learning; after all learning isn’t always pleasant, is it? They call them “growing pains” for a reason you know.  Sometimes, the pain is so great, we bleed and we cry and yet we still don’t learn the lesson we need to. So, we find ourselves back again in a similar situation until we learn the lesson.

I believe that some situations are meant to teach us from more than one angle. We might need to have that de ja vu experience more than once to learn it all. If we are lucky we only have to do it once, but how many of us are lucky? If we are smart we only have to do it….well, perhaps it’s a combination of luck and smarts that might just push you through. I am determined, focused and I like to work hard, set a goal, and get what I started after. This can be really good or really bad. When I was younger I felt that if I didn’t follow through to the end and achieve my end goal that I failed. Now that I am older and more enlightened i know that life is fluid and we need to be flexible. We need to be open to change course when the wind shifts. Just like sailing.

I had a college roommate who used to say to me, “God, you are one stubborn and determined girl. You are smart, but you keep banging your head into the same damned wall. One day, it’s gonna hurt like hell and then hopefully you’ll learn that you need to change your path and go around the wall.” I knew she was right then, but I needed to bang my head quiet a few times to finally get it through my thick skull.

I think the Rolling Stones were so spot on when they sang, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometime…you might just get what you need.” Learning is a process and part of that process is being able to walk away when a situation isn’t right. We don’t always have to try to fix it or them. Being flexible can take you just as far as determination, maybe further.

Where am I going with all of this? I am trying to tell you that it’s okay to fall. It’s okay to change your path, and it’s okay to change your mind. Falling doesn’t mean that you failed. You have to remember that this is your life and that the only person you need to answer to is you. Growing up in a western culture the emphasis is on personal acquisitions. If you own the world, but do not know yourself, what have you gained?

I know all of this, and have since a young age, yet I am human. Therefore I screw up and I bang my head into the same wall time and time again. I get frustrated and mad and wonder who the hell keeps putting that wall in my way?! Gratefully, I also know that along the way I have become somewhat enlightened enough to know that I put the wall there. I need to learn something, and until I can step back and really search and listen I will never learn the lessons needed.  It’s up to me.

I just bashed my head really hard into a big old familiar wall. This time it hurt…and trust me I learned. I had that “a ha” moment and just like that I learned the lesson that life has so desperately been trying to teach me for countless years. Yes, I said years, and I will remind you again of the sage words of my Mama, “Life will humble you.” Oh why didn’t I listen to her?

My friends, don’t lose heart when you fall down. Don’t be so quick to jump up and act like no one saw you either. Let your friends help you up and take the time to really listen to their advice. Take the time you need to really check the situation…you can even look for the lesson amidst the rubble. Sometimes it’s right in front of your face, but you just don’t want to acknowledge it. We all learn at our own pace, but take one piece of advice from me, now that I have learned a thing or two…”Keep your eyes open and on the path in front of you…be open to learning, advice, and change. Remember it’s not all about the destination; the journey has its good points too.”

Xoxo Ella

18 thoughts on “It’s the Getting Up that Counts.

  1. Right on sis. From one determined, stubborn banger into walls to another . . . there are so many lessons packed within the cracks in those walls. And it’s okay to learn stuff the hard way. Love this post and love you.


  2. I do not even know where to start, so start with that is a great quote! I truly love that.

    My step mother (mother of my heart forever) once said to me God tried getting my attention every other way without success now he just throws bricks and he has a great throwing arm.

    I banged my head against a great number of walls in my day. Still do now and then but these days I try hard to soften the blow.


    1. Val, I am a quick study and I am certainly a quick at ducking punches and flying bricks! Evie, suggested that I just make a door through the wall. Why didn’t I think of that?! Love you! xo Ella


  3. *** “Sometimes you fall down because there is something down there that you are supposed to find.”***

    A sentence to be shaded, but man, it hurts like hell when one falls…sometimes it’s hard to get back up.

    Great, inspiring post. x


  4. SO true Ella! And like your roomate says you can be stubborn and determined, not always a bad thing, my “vice” is I won’t publish or go public until I’m sure its perfect by my very high standards. I love, love that you said, “Don’t be so quick to jump up and act like no one saw you either!” If there’s one thing I’ve realized, we tend to get more support from our peers if and when we show them we’re not so perfect and show them we’re human. Which, I don’t care who you are, every human falls some times. Stumbling (also) keeps us humble. Vanessa


  5. Love this! I fell way down into a pit of despair for well over 6 months, but God is healing me now in amazing ways. I thought for sure death was where I was headed but with the help of God, Vitamin D, friends, prayer, writing, and art, I am alive again and feel better than I ever have. There is so much I found while I was “down there”…starting to write about it on my blog and now I have a book idea too. Found you through Melody Ross’s facebook. Love the inspiration!


    1. Christina, I love Melody…she is a soul sister to me. You are in the right place between The Brave Girls Club and Rebel Thriver. I am so glad that you are feeling better. I know that Melody like me has had her dark days. You can overcome it my friend. Rebel Thriver has changed and saved my life. Today I got my first tattoo (and last). It says Rebel Thriver. I hope you follow us on Facebook…we have a lot of fun there. Love to you my friend. XO Ella


  6. I just found this page and would like to thank you so much as it has helped me. I am going through a heartbreak situation and it has been very hard. The quote about falling down because there is something down there you are supposed to find particularly helped. Bless you. Love from Christine


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